249. W. W. to SIR GEORGE BEAUMONT

• Address: Sir George Beaumont Bart. | Dunmow | Essex
• Postmark: 1 March 1805. Stamp: Kendal.
• MS. WL. M(—), i. 88 and 290. P(—), iii. 234 and 246. L(—), i. 179 and iii. 385. EL, 449.

Grasmere Febry [c. 23]² 1805.

My dear Friend,

I cannot express how much your goodness has affected all of us under this roof. Lady Beaumonts remembrance, too, of us in our affliction has comforted us much. We are all somewhat easier in mind, much easier I might say; but our grief is of a kind which time pg 546only can alleviate. We know what we have lost, and what we have to endure; our anguish is allayed, but pain and sadness have taken place of it; with fits of sorrow which we endeavour to suppress but cannot. But why dwell upon this mournful subject? I have neither right nor inclination to do so.

To the question which you have so nobly put to me, I will answer to the best of my power in a spirit worthy of your friendship; that is with entire openness, laying before you the whole of my worldly concerns. Upon second thoughts, it seems I cannot do better than give you a brief sketch of the history of my Life as far as relates to these matters.

My Father, who was an Attorney of considerable eminence, died intestate, when we were children; and the chief part of his personal property after his decease was expended in an unsuccessful attempt to compel the late Lord Londsdale to pay a debt of about 5,000 to my Fathers estate. Enough however was scraped together to educate us all in different ways. I the second Son was sent to College with a view to the profession of the Church or Law: Into one of which I should have been forced by necessity had not a friend left me,£900; this bequest was from a young man with whom, though I call him Friend, I had had but little connection; and the act was done entirely from a confidence on his part that I had powers and attainments which might be of use to mankind. This I have mentioned, because it was his due, and I thought the fact would give you pleasure. Upon the interest of this £900, 400 being laid out in annuity, with £200 deducted from the principal and £100 a legacy to my Sister, and £100 more which the Lyrical Ballads have brought me, my Sister and I contrived to live seven years, nearly eight. Lord Lonsdale then died, and the present Lord Lowther paid to my Father's estate £8500. Of this sum I believe 1,800 apiece will come to my Sister and my self, at least would have come: but 3.0 was lent out to our poor Brother, I mean taken from the whole sum which was about 1,200 more than his share, which 1200 belonged to Dorothy and me. This 1,200 we freely lent him; whether it was ensured or no I do not know; but I dare say it will prove to be the case; we did not however stipulate for its being ensured. But you shall faithfully know every particular as soon as I have learned them: this I promise you and should deem myself altogether unworthy of your friendship were it otherwise. The person to whom I must apply for this knowledge is a Brother whom we have in London; but his hands and heart are at present so full of our lost Brother John's affairs that it would be improper in me to pg 547make the application yet a while. I ought to add that my wifes property [is] at present 400 and some odd pounds. Thus my dear Sir George you have the whole laid before you, to have told you what I may possibly have lost would have been nothing without telling you what I have.

Having spoken of worldly affairs, let me again mention my beloved Brother. It is now just five years since, after a separation of 14 years (I may call it a separation for we only saw him four or five times and by glimpses) he came to visit his Sister and me in this Cottage and passed eight blessed months with us. He was then waiting for the command of the Ship to which he was appointed when he quitted us. As you will have seen, we had little to live upon and he as little (Lord Lonsdale being then alive). But he encouraged me to persist, and to keep my eye steady on its object. He would work for me, (that was his language), for me, and his Sister; and I was to endeavour to do something for the world. A thousand times has he said could I but see you with a green field of your own, and à Cow, and two or three other little comforts, I should be happy! He went to sea as Commander with this hope; his voyage was very unsuccessful, [he] having lost by it considerably. When he came home we chanced to be in London and saw him. "Oh! said he, I have thought of you and nothing but you; if ever of myself and my bad success it was only on your account. ["] He went again to sea a second time and also was unsuccessful; still with the same hopes on our account, though then not so necessary, Lord Lowther having paid the money. Lastly came this lamentable voyage; which he entered upon full of expectation, and love to his Sister and myself, and my Wife whom indeed he loved with all a Brothers tenderness. This is the end of his part of the agreement, of his efforts for my welfare! God grant me life and strength to fulfill mine! I shall never forget him, never lose sight of him, there is a bond between us yet, the same as if he were living, nay far more sacred, calling upon me to do my utmost, as he to the last did his utmost to live in honour and worthiness. Some of the newspapers carelessly asserted that he did not wish to survive his ship. This is false. He was heard, by one of the surviving officers, giving orders with all possible calmness a very little before the ship went down; and when he could remain at his Post no longer, then, and not till then, he attempted to save himself. I knew this would be so; but it was satisfactory to us to have it confirmed by external evidence.¹ Do not think our grief unreasonable. pg 548Of all human beings whom I ever knew, he was the man of the most rational desires, the most sedate habits, and the most perfect self-command. He was modest; and gentle: and shy, even to disease, but this was wearing off. In every thing his judgments were sound and original: his taste in all the arts, music and poetry in particular (for these he of course had had the best opportunities of being familiar with) was exquisite: And his eye for the beauties of Nature was as fine and delicate as ever Poet or Painter was gifted with; in some discriminations, owing to his education and way of life, far superior to any person's I ever knew. But alas! what avails it? it was the will of God that he should be taken away; My dear and honoured friend, one pang I had, one vain wish, one bitter regret; it was this, that in the hour of his agony he might have had communicated to him for one poor moment your goodness to his Brother: when I read your last Letter with tears in my eyes, I could not help sighing to myself why could it not be so? but peace! I trust in God that I shall not want fortitude but my loss is great, and irreparable. Now my dear Friend let me speak of a subject very near me that is your health. You mend, you say, but I fear slowly: do write to let me know how you go on. I was hurt that your excellent Letter about the young Roscius should have arrived at such a time; but it could not be helped; it has since amused me much and I thank you heartily for it; the account is throughout interesting and in many respects highly valuable.¹ I will send the dimensions of the drawing in my next. I cannot now; for I never cast my eyes up to it without thinking of my poor Brother and the pleasure it would have given him had he seen it. Dear Lady Beaumont forgets that Coleridge will learn the disaster by the public papers: we shall write to him in a few days. Since I last wrote Mrs Coleridge has had a Letter from Coleridge: he was "greatly better. He has engagements with the Governor["]; if these do not prevent him I am sure he will return the first minute he can after hearing the news. I am as sure of this as if I heard him say so. Many thanks for the offer of your house; but pg 549I am not likely to be called to Town. Lady Beaumont gives us hope we may see you next summer: this would indeed be great joy to us all. My Sister thanks Lady B for her affectionate remembrance of her and her letter, and will write as soon as ever she feels herself able. Her health as was to be expected has suffered much.

• Your most affectionate Friend,      
• W. Wordsworth.   

The Mr Wordsworth saved was a second Cousin of ours. My Brother had never been married: he completed his thirty-second year last Janry, was in the prime of health, a manly person; and one of the finest countenances ever seen.